Wednesday, February 13, 2013

resurrection (or how to be middle aged and new all at once).

this is a time lapse i made overnight of the resurrection plant i got aitor for christmas.

tomorrow i turn thirty five years old. neither of my parents made it to seventy. middle age.

i am hoping that this next year is better than years past. lots of wonderful things have been going on for me creatively, they always do. i am incredibly grateful for all of that - for my friends, for my work, for my collaborations and for my partner in life. and yet, it's hard to shake this feeling that my head has been full of goo since my parents passed away. it's as though things got cloudier and sleepier. don't get me wrong, i have a lot going for me but i miss being a little more awake and bright-eyed. and i miss engaging with you, friends and strangers from all over the dang place.

so...some questions to start of my thirty-sixth year on planet earth:

are blogs dead? (this is a pragmatic question)
what gives you clarity and/or focus in your life?
what's the best way to get rid of unwanted goo?

you replies are most appreciated.

happy valentine's eve.


leah b said...

It's your birthday over here now - or, maybe, not quite as you were born PST. I guess as time is relative, you were born on a day kinda like today and something like 35 year ago. In any case, I'm happy you were!

Reading that might not be a moment of clarity in your new year, sorry. I'm also not too sure about the relevance of blogs anymore - I think I'm exclusively writing to my sisters. For focus? Lists and goals help me. Unwanted goo? Lighter-fluid. I also probably should have just written you an email. love you!

Shannah said...

Lots of happy birthday wishes your way!

I'd rather read dead blogs than facebook.
The lack of time in my life gives me clarity and focus
and conversely, the passage of time gets rid of my unwanted goo.

What a beautiful time lapse!

Jen Spinner said...

Happy Birthday!

I'm not sure if blogs are dead or just antiquated. I personally don't have as much enthusiasm for them as I once did, but I still read my favs from time to time.

Anything that connects me with my body and with my breath is extremely calming and hence gives me focus. I like yoga and meditation but there are many, many ways to connect that humans have been cultivating for as long as we've been human.

Unwanted goo? Sit with it. It's the most annoying reality of feeling anything.

Best of luck with everything!

Marnie said...

well, i'm glad your blog's not dead. happy birthday from a far-away-time :)

as for your questions,

1. see above comment.
2. sunlight.
3. time, and remembering even though i don't really want it, it's mine to do with as i please...

i'm looking forward to reading all your back pages...take care!

Darice Joy said...

I just turned 32 in December. Both of my parents passed before turning 45. I am in the autumn of my years according to parental lifespan. I so understand your goo..perhaps not completely, but enough to say: you are not your parents. One of the things I like to remind myself of is mutts. Mutts have longer lifespans + are generally healthier overall. Their mixed DNA gives them an gives us one too.

Blogs, for personal use / expression / sharing are not dead...blogs as SEO (business stuffs) or marketing are. In my opinion, of course. ;-) I love to read about people when they are sharing from a place of sincerity (like you do), but find blogs that offer information in return for loyalty / email address / market data / etc. to be icky.

Clarity / focus has been elusive for most of my life...or so I thought. I have been thinking over my old dreams (from childhood) and realizing that there is a wealth of personal mapping I can use today. Those things I loved as a kid? I still love them today. Clarity isn't always found by thinking / studying more...but by letting it all go, and trusting our inner compass. (Corny? Perhaps...but it's been invaluable for me.)

As for goo, it lives in funny places. A spring cleaning usually helps...paying particular attention to emotional messes. Old photos / keepsakes / etc. It's therapeutic. So is forgiving yourself. This is a big one for me...when people pass, we tend to relive our time with them. How could we have done it better...what if we had...why didn't we... At the end of the day, those thoughts only make us feel gooier. I truly believe that parents (those who are fondly remembered + missed, anyway) know beyond a shadow of a doubt that their children love them, and forgive them any misunderstandings / shortcomings (as we the children see them).

That was heavy stuff to lay on a stranger's blog...but hopefully it's helpful to you.

P.S. Commenting on a post that's over a year old. This blog isn't dead. ;-)