Wednesday, August 20, 2008

creativity and creationism in kentucky.

it is at times like these that i consider dividing blog posts into thematic sections instead of doing daily reports. i also recently discovered google analytics (thank you, marya) and thereby realized that a blog about sock monkeys had to link to by post about shannon gerard's boobs and dinks in order to post information about operation sock monkey. but maybe this is good. maybe contradictions, confrontations and coincidences are more defining of human experience than we usually acknowledge. but i digress. and i am thinking myself outside of my station in life. i know my place. let's talk crafts and weird tourism!

todays adventures around cincinnati actually involved no cincinnati at all. this city has always proven very elusive to me - i either have to drive right through it due to time constraints or avoid it narrowly in my travel itineraries. please, if you know things i should make a point to do in cincinnati, let me know. i'm not sure when i will be back but i am adequately mytified to make a point of returning.

instead of landing us in the big city, our adventures today took us to a couple of peripheral ketucky destinations. first off, we made a stop at pivot, a brand-spanking-new gallery/boutique in covington that we heard great things about. tammy (whose art that is above) is one of the sisters who started the business together. she was in the gallery recovering from craftin' outlaws where they had a table and was kind enough to chat it up with us about art and crafts and the area. pivot will be at renegade chicago and hopefully we will soon be doing some business with them soon. but for now, i am just impressed at how together they are for a three-week-old business (conceived only seven weeks ago). those girls are crazy geniuses!

after aitor consumed his first kentucky hot brown (i don't even know what it is after seeing it), we headed off to the day's main attraction - the creation museum! this establishment is a little gem nestled into the corn fields of petersberg, kentucky. although a bit beyond our current budget we had decided to take the plunge into humanity's 6000 year old history and boy were we glad we did. what a completely beguiling clusterfuck. wow.

we start our tour in an open area that houses dinos, cave christians, rock samples and various living flora and fauna. confusing, pretty, grand. there are also lots of smiling people around everywhere willing to help with anything and then smile more. i kept thinking about this work group on happiness that my friend misha hosted, in which statistics on the disproportionate happiness of religious people was brought up. i also felt a little skeeved. but the smiling people said i could take pictures, so i was happy.

the museum begins with discussion of the modern downfall of everyone (except...lutherans, i think). this was presented through various displays, reproduction canyons, murals, an alley of athiest graffiti and videos with teen performances reminiscent of the movie hell house. after watching projections of some kids rolling sloppy joints, i couldn't wait to be reborn! this is where the museum really kicks into high gear. we are taken back 6000 years (through a tunnel of twinkle lights) to the dawn of time - which is presented in a four minute video. it's pretty great, especially the final image which depicts adam and eve in silhouette against a nuclear sunset...with two intermingling brontosaurs in the not-to-distant background. we then leave the theatre and enter the garden, itself...

what a place! that garden really did look like a lot of fun. i can see why this stuff caught on. after this, the excitement slowed for me a bit, entering biblical territory that i already knew - original sin, women belonging to know. but i wasn't here to find out stuff i knew. i came for stuff i didn't know. in this repect, things get pretty good around the time of the ark (a central focus of the museum).

this time period does require special added attention since it is quite a challenge to figure out how two tyrannosaurs and two brontosaurs and two othersaurs all fit into those scant 300 cubits. two words: baby dinos. duh.

these diluvian times also held many changes for the earth. trilobites both ran from the flood and happily swam around under water, pangaea split up into the continents we now know, floating forests formed (we couldn't find any explanation for this), fossil fuels were created in a thin layer under the earth and much much more - all in five months! after this, the laws of science and physics that we all know and love today also came into being and here we are - saved!

and salvation was never so much fun! all that remained was a visit to the extensive gift shop and dragon-themed book shop (oh, yes, dragons figure into all this somehow, too). it sure is a hoot to be a dino-lovin' christian.

how do i look with my new glassy gaze and kentucky derby hat? i hope i look good because i feel amaaaaaaaaazing. rooooowr!


shannongerard said...

i love this museum. love it! i might be my favourite thing on this blog YET

lauren said...

oh man, endless wins at the creation museum! wrath, and original sin: i totally forgot about all that stuff.

can that cranial hat double as a bike helmet? is it rigid like that (oh, you know what i mean, come on).

sweetie pie press said...

lauren, it is the opposite of rigid. it is just a thin layer of foam. and i was grown-up enough to save my pennies and not buy it.

lauren said...

Hot brown, I shoulda known.

Unknown said...

My friends Scott and Steve went there last summer (and yes, I am crazy jealous) and brought back nifty magnets that say, "God loves science!"

leah b said...

maybe if i took a trip to that museum as a youngun' i wouldn't be the heathen i am today.

shannongerard said...

maybe you would be an even more heatheny heathen than you are today

lauren said...

maybe i would have remained a better atheist?
story of my
get what i'm
know what i

aw jeez (literally).

Stephanie said...

this post is totally overwhelming me. i can't figure out what to dis-believe first.

sweetie pie press said...

you should just go there. seeing is disbelieving. i kind of wish i had purchased a mug. but it was such an expensive outing for us. so if you go, get me a mug.

Stephanie said...

Seeing is also non-describing. I was trying to explain this post to Mike the other day and just couldn't do it any justice. I just had to give up and send him a link.

Anonymous said...

Sweetie Pie (if that is real name!)
LOVE IT! I am writing a little blog piece that mentions a little bit about the museum and I ran across your pix. I hope you dont mind me linking to your site!
Great Work!
Kevin Marsman

Anonymous said...

"If that is YOUR real name."
I blew the joke! Don't hold it against our blog!
Again, great work.

sweetie pie press said...

thanks, kevin!

it's funny, these pictures have been getting a lot of attention lately.

i think it has to do with obama and the feelings of a new dawn for science. i guess i hadn't realized how weird america truly was.

Anonymous said...

Thanks SP, funny you mention the connection to Obama, because that is exactly what got me thinking about it all. I linked your site to mine. Our blog has only a couple hundred readers, but any traffic is good traffic, eh.
By the way, the pic we used of your friend riding the Steg has absolutely nothing to do with my points, but we all Love that dude's look and couldnt resist using it!
In case your interested...